I am tired of living a half-life, afraid. This requires immediate,
drastic action and a little hope.

I've also noticed recently that, regardless of how I envy them,
people who have a lot of friends are often more lonely than I.

prayer 2

I'm going to count to ten.

When I get to ten I'll be strong,

the Strongest.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

children 3

Like Isabel you want
Cake. Baby, you want
Another milk shake.

What will I say when
I hear you ask me softly
From the back seat if

We can take a break?
"I told you I'd give you
A stomach ache."

pound cake

If I still had a heart, this could easily be lumped into the category of "bad idea" but I don't, so what difference does it make?

with return

Blue skies from Los Angeles to Seattle with return. Stepping into my apartment (it was still there) for the first time since the course I was struck at how luxurious it seemed. I thought I was living quite modestly. I  still have more than I need.

As of today I even have heat. I turned it on only to be greeted by a cloud of smoke - the burning of at least a year's worth of dust. I was, of course, already in the shower when this happened, smoke alarm and all. Curses. I am now at the considerably less warm Cow's End for coffee and clean(er) air.

Though my apartment remains intact everything has changed. I'm resisting the urge to revert to the same habits which made it the place it was before. I have a choice now I didn't when I left to try something different. I'd like to take advantage of that. Today I decide what form these efforts will take.

OCG II Raft Island, WA

Photo by Brad Hogg

I leave for Seattle today. I'm not sure how I feel about seeing the Space Needle again or Pike Place. Standing under the sign at Starbucks without you there to take my picture.

And I can't help but suspect I'll return only to find my home in ashes.