angel food

I've been having insatiable cravings for high calorie treats lately. I stopped by the grocery store to buy toilet paper on my home from a work meeting - a bad idea because I like to snack after work (I was a latchkey kid growing up and would make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, religiously, every day after school). But, on my way in I passed by an angel food cake display and then ran into some blueberries and the combination of those two topped with Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream sounded so good.... and I never indulge like this...  and buying these items here, now, would support the responsible consumption of only somewhat junkie food (it does say "all-natural" on the Haagen-Dazs carton) rather than binging on unhealthier sweets at worse times (like a brick of carrot cake before bedtime). Makes sense, right? 

The first day and a half of having these items in the house went off without a hitch. Yesterday I got home from work and immediately went for my treat. I pull the ice cream out of the freezer and start digging away at what is a very solid block of ice cream, totally sleepwalking through this. Suddenly the large scoop I've been working on frees itself from the rest and pops me in the face before landing on the floor. This still doesn't wake me. I pick it up, throw it in the sink, wipe my face off and keep going. I eat my treat and continue with my day, having a light salad for dinner (which I was proud of).

So last night on my way out the door (on a date in fact) I slipped my right foot into a shoe and felt it slide inside. Something was not right here. In fact something was downright slimy. In a flash I knew what this mysterious substance was - none other than a congealed puddle of Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream which had been overlooked in my dessert-eating mid-afternoon fervor.  I don't know if what I've written here can fully convey how truly poetic and humorous this experience struck me as, in the moment, but before I had even withdrawn my foot from said slimy apparatus I knew I had to try. Commentary on healthy salad-making practices and chaste visits to the o' holy shopping mart to follow at a later date.